All-State auditions are tomorrow. After all this time of practicing and preparing myself (about 3 months), it is finally here. As you can imagine, I have many thoughts going through my head right now. If you have ever had to audition for something important to you, then you know what I feel like. I have spent so much time and energy on preparing for a 5 minute audition, that it seems ridiculous. It’s easy to convince myself that if I don’t make it, that it was all a waste of time. But was it really?
Sometimes we go into an audition, and we know we aren’t prepared. This was me freshman year. I knew I wouldn’t make it into All-State, because I just wasn’t ready. Sure, I had practiced a lot and worked really hard, but as a player I wasn’t at that level yet. That made going into the audition pretty easy. I didn’t have anything to lose. My primary purpose of auditioning was to gain experience with the audition process, not to actually make it into All-State. This year, I know I’m ready. I’ve worked as hard as I possibly can, and it’s my time to be in the All-State band. Knowing that I deserve it, however, makes it that much harder to go in and have a good audition. I have much more to lose.
It wouldn’t be too difficult to walk into the room and totally freak out. So many people have told me that I’m going to make it this year, which is nice of them to say, but it adds a lot of pressure. I feel as though I would be letting my directors and my lesson teacher down if I don’t make it. I can’t let this and other negative thoughts find their way into my head. When you’re auditioning for something that’s important to you, you can’t let your mind cancel out all of the hard work you have done to get there. I know I am ready for this audition and I’m going to rock it!
Now, don’t think I’m being cocky, because I’m not. Self-confidence is important. I hate to sound lame, but you HAVE to believe in yourself. You need to let the judge know that you put in a ton of time and hard work, and that you deserve it. Don’t let the judge doubt you even for a second.
“Be so good they can’t ignore you.” – Steve Martin
So, back to my original question: was all the time and energy put into this audition a waste of time if I don’t make it? Of course not! Even if I don’t get the outcome I would like, I know that it was still worth it. Every time we fail we are learning. I have grown so much as a player throughout the whole process of preparation. If I don’t make it into All-State tomorrow, yes, I will be sad. However, I will get over it. It’s one person’s opinion after hearing me play for 5 minutes. Not making it into All-State does not make me any less of a player.
While I primarily wrote this post as a way to sort out my own thoughts on what tomorrow will bring, I hope that you were also able to gain some perspective on auditioning!